The lull.

Today is a day of rest for me, before the fury of tomorrow.

Watership Down is engaging me in a way no book ever has. I passed what felt like a climax, but I know the end is far from here. I fear what might happen to the rabbits. They came out very luckily, but they might not be so lucky to escape death a second time. Never in my life have I been so worried for the fate of fictitious rabbits. I love them all dearly, but I fear that love will work against me; I fear one of my favourites will die before the end.

A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking about Blue Whales again. They're renewing themselves in my mind as my favourite animal. They are the biggest animal in the history of the Earth. They weight about 150 tons and are about 100 feet long (which is more than the length of two city buses). They are majestic and beautiful, having an almost hydrodynamic body, made perfect for swimming across their oceanic universe. Often found alone or in pairs, they inhabit all parts of the Earth's oceans. I love their solitude and loyalty. And their large size and patience reminds me of myself.

I'm feeling myself being pulled by my friends. No matter how nonpartisan I try to be I seem to be offending someone. I just want to love freely, to everyone in my life, why must I be pulled into their personal politics? A part of me fears that in the end I might lose them all, if I don't pick a side now. Choosing between loved ones, it's a game I don't want to play again.

I've rested the entire day today and I'm resting still tonight. Tomorrow will be a big day for me: work, kickboxing, and then MMA. I will be lucky to come out alive in the end. No, I am made of tougher stuff. I have steel determination.