Rear Naked Choke.

It feels different not job searching. Having a few minutes free to myself would make me feel guilty for not hunting down enough jobs. I suppose the hunt hasn't ended, but at least I can slow down now to get my priorities straightened out. This job won't pay much, but the money would be very useful right now. I think my parents are in some kind of financial difficulty. I can't be sure, but often I'd see my father stressing over bills in his office, and there was more than a couple of occasions where he asked me for money. It's very unlike him. They money I'm looking to earn in the next month or so will help ease their burdens, which would translate to a happier environment for us all.

Ya know, it occurred to me that a lot of my issues with my mom comes from me being a disappointment in her eyes. I think they praised me a lot growing up, and had high expectations for my graduation. Afterwards when I ended up having no job, and just staying home like a bum, their dreams must've been shattered. I don't think a week passes when I don't explain to my mom why getting an Engineering Degree didn't leave me with a job waiting after graduation. It's as if it doesn't make sense to them. Their equation stated that a great job would await anyone after getting an expensive degree. It all boils down to money. Somehow I think if I had money to appease them my situation with my girlfriends would've been completely different. Fuck.

For the past few weeks I've been stuck in this fitness plateau. It's not so much my weight remaining constant, but rather my fat percentage not decreasing a bit. I've been alternating weeks of muscle building and intense cardio. I've also been very careful with what I eat and how I eat. I've been eating smaller meals now, and at regular intervals. I've been training myself to run longer. The other day -- which was a Tuesday, btw -- I had jogged 8 km nonstop in 50 minutes. The length was a record for me! I was very proud of myself and bragged about it to others. I've also been highly critical of my fighting in MMA. I need to cut out the crap and start making a game plan. I realized that I had no plan to execute. I just go into a grapple and pray for the best. Speaking of grappling, we did a lot of that today. I got many pointers from this fellow who came to our class (he was an older student who took some time off). He showed me the mistake with my neck-choke, and some hints at my neck clinch.

Speaking of MMA like this, it makes me reflect on why I find it so soothing. Kenny put it best, "When you're training for it, or in the ring, all you have is the ring. The ring is now your world. You operate within it, you know the rules, and you do it. Not only is it a challenge, but it's damn comforting to have everything else melt away and only focus on your own little planet."